Stress relief is essential for everyone as stress is said to be the biggest underlying cause of lowered immune system function, hormone disturbances, and illness.

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Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to cancel that order of stress on the side?  As often as not, stress is the main course, rather than the side dish, which means that the more the stress barrel fills up, the more we cart around with us and the less stress relief we get.

Stress Barrel

Imagine this: There was once an empty barrel, and as perceived negative events occurred, I responded to them, and my barrel received a deposit of stress. When positives occured, there was a counteracting clearing or removal of stress from the barrel.

And as you will find out, there is still a problem in obtaining stress relief.

Stress Relief: 3 Positives to Counteract 1 Negative

Now did you know that research has shown that you need 3 positives to counteract every negative event, or negatively impacting thought, or negatively impacting emotion?  That’s right: it’s a ratio of 3:1 which means that the impact of those negatives carries a lot more weight than the positives.

So, you come down the birth canal, it’s a tight squeeze, you are registering every emotion of your mother, and that’s contributing to your own emotional state, out you pop and somebody smacks you on the bottom! Ouch! There’s a negative right there. (Hopefully, these days, you are more gently welcomed into the world.)

Someone says, “oh, look what funny toes you have” and already, you are registering tone of voice and emotions from those around you, and might begin to fill up that barrel with stress.  What if Mum had an exhausting labour and doesn’t even want to know you, then there’s another negative entry in the stress barrel register?

Stress is Learnt

From here on in, you have the potential to respond to stressful events based on three things:

1. Observations of how others respond to stress
2. Our own experiences are learnt over time
3. Education and information from school, church, relatives, etcetera

Unfortunately, most of us have not had the benefit of parents who were super calm, loving, 100% positive and caring, so observation of their coping mechanisms isn’t always helpful. There were some lucky ones I know, and then there were the not so lucky.

Physiological Stress Responses

Our own stressful experiences teach us to respond to certain triggers in certain ways which are very likely to become a habit, that becomes an automatic pattern. 

For example, a look on a face can have us doubt ourself, or a fist raised might cause my heart to race, or a tone of voice might remind me of my mother and cut right through me…

This causes a physiological response by the body, and suddenly I am flooded with stress hormones of cortisol and adrenaline which has a debilitating effect on my immune system, my emotions, and can cause illness and dysfunction of my body.

Measure Stress

Firstly, knowing how much stress you are under is very important, so that you know how far you have to go. You see, a certain amount of stress is both useful and necessary to challenge us, to give us a push. This kind of positive stress is called ‘eustress’. It’s a good idea to take the free Depression Anxiety Stress Survey and find out.

Then there are all the other stressors that impact on us, causing ‘distress’ and I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you what they are.  Suffice to say that almost anything can have a negative impact on us, when what you really want is to ‘de-stress’.

De-stress for Stress Relief

1. 7 Top Tips to De-stress and Step back and laugh at the situation you find yourself in. Imagine telling your friends about this hilarious time you had. laughter increases the secretion of endorphins – the pleasure hormones - and gives you your energy back.
2. Remind yourself that life is a journey and it won’t always go the way you want it to, and that’s okay. Enjoy the journey and quit worrying about the end result. The journey usually has ups and downs, roundabouts and by-passes.  So does life.
3. Accept that you are in a situation, yet you are not the situation, so how you respond is your choice. It does not have to be an instant stress response. Cancel that stress habit out.
4. Love yourself and your efforts regardless of the outcome.  You are still worthy of love, support, acceptance and approval. You are still special even when mistakes have been made.
5. What does a baby have to do to be loved?  Nothing. Just be a baby. Stop connecting achievements with lovability and you might feel happier.
6. Meditate daily and practise relaxation or visualization techniques so that you empty that barrel of stress.
7. For adults, drink 2 to 3 litres of water a day, eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with a healthy snack mid-morning and mid-afternoon, exercise daily, and sleep soundly.  It is amazing what these basic principles will do for your body, mind and soul.

Let me know how you go, okay? For more stress relief ideas, click here